I Am Moving to Hawaii! and I Have Lost My Courage

Now....

First, before I get into the subject at hand, I want to say that I am not sure about this format I have chosen for this Blog. I am wondering if I should have two blogs. One for then and one for now. I am wondering if it is going to be too confusing a read in the long run. Any comments would be welcomed.

Also, I am a little confused about the actual format of this blog, that each new day is on top. So if you want to start at the beginning you have to read from the bottom up. I tried to investigate how to deal with that on the design and settings page, but to no avail. Any suggestions??

Now to the topic at hand. I am moving to Hawaii! and I have lost my courage.

My 21 year old daughter and I bought our tickets to Kauai yesterday. I used to live there 35 years ago, for 3 years. I haven't been back since. She wanted to go to massage school in a warm place and I came up with the idea of Kauai, and found the perfect school. In addition, there is a Jewish Chabad in the very same town as the school. There are only 2 Jewish communities in all of Hawaii, and this is one of them. To me this is a miracle that this Chabad is there! All should be good in my world. But no, I am already worrying about everything. Money, where are we going to live, transportation, money.

What it boils down to is that is that I am realizing that I have lost my courage.

I have had a pretty adventurous life. I have been a relatively strong person. But I have had alot of personal hardships. I raised a child alone, without support from her father or family members. I was poor. We moved alot to survive. I've been through a fair amount of crisis and trauma. Now I see that it has sapped my courage.

Ask my daughter. I act like a little old, neurotic, Jewish lady. I am a scary cat and afraid of my shadow. Everything seems hard and overwhelming. I took an 1 1/2 hour Greyhound Bus run the other week, and I was a nervous wreck, waiting for the bus. What if there aren't any seats. The bus station was closed, and you had to pay the driver. I got a seat just fine, and the ride was awesome. A young fellow sat next to me, and we had an amazing talk. We exchanged emails and numbers, and we are writing. These fears are just unfounded!

I had an amazing bus ride, and God has provided the miracle of a Chabad in Kilaeua, Hawaii. I need to build up my courage!

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